it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
