I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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