the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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