I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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