This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
