I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
NoShamevember. You game?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
