I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
