You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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