FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
