A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
