I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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