No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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