nut hugger
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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