he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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