how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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