She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
