And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize