It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
