You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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