1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
