We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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