Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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