She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
