i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
