That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
