Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
