Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Randomize