; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
