yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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