best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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