JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
