How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
