Someone shit on the floor
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
