we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
