Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
please come you make the beer taste better
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Randomize
