birth control should be required to get into college
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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