Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
