Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it's great music for shaving your balls
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
