I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have tasted many bathrooms
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
