He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
