smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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