I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
