Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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