My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
