Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
