I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
