someone threw a dead crab at me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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