Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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