my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize