he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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