I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
