I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm at about main and main street
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
