He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
