my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
