I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
