...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
