Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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