It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
