I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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