I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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