I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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