I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
