I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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