I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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