dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
