WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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