youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
