holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize